Thursday, April 29, 2010

Haiku

Ceaseless bombardment

Incessant deafening noise

This cratered wasteland


This poem was purposely left title-less, as is intended with haikus. The poem has a very strict structure, as the number of syllables per line is 5, 7, 5. One thing I tried to portray here is how frustrating and even maddening it was for the soldiers on the front lines during World War 1 - they despaired because it seemed as though the assaults and explosions would never end. Also, many soldiers went deaf or lost part of their hearing from the noise of explosions. I didn't use any poetic devices, as they are kind of difficult to implement into such a short poem.

12 comments:

  1. Good job Adrian! I think you achieved your goal, your word choice helped you do it. All your adjectives used work well in your poem. I liked how you appealed to the senses by talking about the deafening noise of ceaselesss bombardment (hearing) and the cratered wasteland look of the front lines (sight).

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  2. Great poem!! It really creates a sense of claustrophobia and panic with your use of words. The long and complex words make the reader much more frustrated and that helped me understand and feel what the soldiers would have felt during war. Good job!!

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  3. I like your word choice for this poem; ceaseless, incessant, and cratered all connected with the use of C's. Like what Alex said, its great that you included imagery in your poem. The picture you paint with your words is easy to visualize. The loaded words you used such as incessant and wasteland really help in creating a gloomy, desecrated atmosphere. Nice work!

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  4. Nice poem! The atmosphere it creates works perfectly with what you're describing, and there's strong imagery even in only three lines. The entire poem feels quite bleak, and the reader can really relate to what it must have been like. Good job!

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  5. Great poem Adrian. It gives the reader a really vivid description of what war is like. The atmosphere created by the poem is very powerful, and I like how you managed to create it with only three lines. Great job!

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  6. The atmosphere of the poem is captured by the rough and powerful words chosen. The alliteration of the use of C's in each line is a great poetic device. Really great job Adrian!!

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  7. I really like this poem! You used very powerful words that create a very heavy atmosphere and almost let us feel the pain of the soldiers and victims of war. I liked the way you described the remaining destroyed land after the war as 'a cratered wasteland'. Good job!

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  8. Good job. I agree that it is difficult to fit in many literary devices and intricate description in a haiku, but I think you did a fantastic job creating a very powerful imagery with your few words. The poem engages both sight and hearing. I also like the use of long words rather than shorter ones so that the reader must pause on each word, and this made it possible to appreciate each one. Good work!

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  9. Nice poem! Leaving it title-less was very meaningful indeed. To me, it is better to show the horrors of war than to just label it, that doesn't do it enough justice. This poem was powerful mainly because of its vivid imagery. The lasting image of the cratered wasteland definitely stays with me.

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